House Rules for Domestic Helper in Singapore By SG Mummy

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Hey Mummies (and Daddies)! I’m Elissa, a first-time IVF mummy to a lovely 13-month-old toddler girl. Are you anticipating the arrival of your new domestic helper to help out with your expanding household? We’ve all been there – the excitement of welcoming a new domestic helper into your home, mixed with the nervousness of establishing clear expectations. Don’t worry, you’re not alone! This guide to setting house rules for domestic helper in Singapore is here to help you minimize confusion and build a harmonious and productive relationship with your helper.

We were super worried ourselves as first-time parents, and first-time employers. But we found that setting expectations right at the start really helped us overcome any potential issues. 13 months on, we are very happy to say that our helper is a fantastic addition to our family – she’s great at keeping the household clean, an amazing cook, and loves our little one! We’re really lucky to have found each other!

Want to learn some tips about setting some ground rules with your domestic helper as a foundation for a great relationship? Read on for more.

House Rules for Domestic Helper in Singapore

Think of it like this: house rules are like a roadmap. They ensure everyone in the household is on the same page. Without them, everything is just guesswork – which may not be great for everyone.

One very important thing to note also is that one set of house rules for one family may not necessarily apply for another. Why? Because everyone’s expectations and circumstances are different. Hence this article will include two things:

• A list of pointers on what areas to consider for your house rules with some tips thrown in based on my experience
• A set of common guidelines that you can edit to suit your family’s needs (scroll to the end to download our 3-page sample house rules document)

Let’s break down the key areas to cover!

Working Hours and Rest Days

• Standard Work Hours: Clearly define daily working hours, including start and finish times, and any breaks.
• Rest Days: Specify weekly/bi-weekly/monthly rest days.

Pro tip: Be reasonable in your expectations of working hours – do provide your helper sufficient uninterrupted rest ensure her well-being. An exhausted domestic helper will not benefit you in the long-run. My helper does not sleep with my child, because I prefer my baby sleeping alone (she’s sleep trained thankfully) and I also do not want her to get interrupted sleep.

Responsibilities and Duties

• Core Duties: Outline the primary responsibilities of your helper, such as cleaning, laundry, cooking, childcare, eldercare, or pet care.
• Specific Tasks: Break down tasks into manageable categories:
  • Cleaning: Define cleaning frequency and areas of responsibility (kitchen, bathrooms, bedrooms, living areas). Include specific tasks like changing bedsheets, wiping down surfaces, and vacuuming/mopping schedules.
  • Laundry: Specify laundry sorting (lights/darks), washing instructions for delicates, drying procedures (hang dry/ dryer), and ironing expectations.
  • Cooking: Outline meal schedules, dietary restrictions, grocery shopping, and kitchen cleanliness standards.
  • Childcare: If applicable, detail childcare responsibilities, including feeding, bathing, playtime, and communication with parents/other caregivers.

Pro tip: Whatever your expectations, it would be good to provide clear instructions, and if possible demonstrations for your helper to familiarize herself with a new way of doing things. Be understanding that they need some time to learn whatever you’re sharing with them.

Additionally, don’t have unrealistic expectations about what they can do for you. Remember that they are not trained nurses, childcare teachers, or chefs.

Also, be realistic about how much responsibility they should be undertaking. For example, if they are the primary caregiver for your child at home, then you may want to consider reducing their workload on some household chores.

Technology and Communication

• Phone Usage: Set clear guidelines for personal phone usage, especially during working hours.
• Internet Access: Specify if internet access is provided and any restrictions.

Pro tip: Phone usage is a big area of contention amongst many households, so it would be good to be upfront and clear about it. Our policy is simple – no using of phone when taking care of baby because we don’t want any distractions to result in accidents.

Personal Conduct and Behaviour

• Respect and Courtesy: Emphasize mutual respect between employer and helper.
• Communication: Encourage open and honest communication, addressing concerns promptly.
• Sharing of Common Areas: Establish guidelines for using common areas, sharing amenities, and respecting personal space.
• Personal Hygiene: Briefly touch on personal hygiene expectations for the helper e.g. always washing hands before touching baby/baby items, showering after being outdoors etc.
• Dress Code: Outline any restrictions you might have for your household (e.g. no short shorts, revealing attires etc.)
• Guest Etiquette: Outline expectations for interacting with visitors and guests (e.g. announcing guests in advance, privacy during family time).

Pro tip: Many of the domestic helpers come from a very different culture from us here in Singapore. So don’t assume that they know what is the norm here. Make it a point to share your expectations even for very basic things such as dress code, and personal hygiene if it’s something that bothers you.

Home Privacy & Safety

• Home Privacy: Establish clear boundaries. This includes not allowing friends or strangers into the house without permission, not opening doors to strangers, and maintaining privacy by not filming or photographing inside the home.
• Home Safety: Ensure your helper knows the importance of checking that gates/doors are locked, windows are closed when out/at night and turning off appliances when not in use.
• Emergency Contacts: Share contact information for family members, doctors, and emergency services.
• Emergency Plan: Outline steps to take in case of fire, or medical emergencies.

Pro tip: Feeling jittery about opening your home to a stranger? Other than sharing these expectations with your helper, things that might help include:

1. CCTVs – Install them in areas around the house that you have valuables or expect your helper to be interacting with your child or elderly at home for extra peace of mind. We have 4 in total – Check out our top choice of CCTV here!
2. Safety Deposit Box / Lockable Cupboards – Have valuables at home? Make sure to keep them in secured cupboards or safety deposit box so there will be no potential temptations around. We got the ES400 Model – Get Yours on Shopee | Lazada!

House Rules for Domestic Helper in Singapore: Common Challenges and Solutions

1. Language Barriers: Use clear and simple language in your house rules. Avoid complex terms that might be confusing. If you have extra time, you can even help to translate it in their native language.
2. Unrealistic Expectations: Remember, your helper isn’t a jack-of-all-trades. They are not trained to be a nurse, a professional chef, or a childcare expert. Tailor your expectations to their role and responsibilities.
3. Regular Review and Updates: Circumstances change, so be open to reviewing and updating your house rules as needed.

3 Page Sample House Rules for Domestic Helper in Singapore (Editable!)

Now that you’ve gone through understanding the different areas that you might want to have some house rules / guidelines for your helper, it’s time to put it down in black and white.

The reason for having the rules down in writing is simple. To have a common understanding of expectations as well as to allow your domestic helper to review these rules on her own time. Also, it’s helpful for you, as an employer, to come back to the rules every so often and see if any updates are required if your household circumstances change.

This FREE 3 page editable Google document of sample house rules for domestic helper in Singapore aims to be a comprehensive list – but we cannot anticipate EVERY household needs. Hence do make sure to edit it accordingly by adding relevant ones, and deleting those not applicable for you.

Instructions on how to download our FREE Google Doc:

1. Click on button below
2. Pop up to request for permission for access should appear.
3. Click request access (we’ll receive a notification and will approve it within 1 working day)
4. You’ll have access and can download it for your own PERSONAL use

BONUS: My Personal Experience

Building trust and open communication is key to a successful relationship with your helper. Don’t expect them to learn everything from a one-time download of the house rules.

How My Family Went About It?

In the initial months, we took a more formal approach. When she first arrived, we had a sit down to go through the house rules – which we sent to her to review at her own time in our family WhatsApp group chat. Also we let her know to please raise any questions, clarifications if need be.

Every week in the initial months, we would do simple check ins with her to ask if there’s anything she’s uncertain of, that she needs us to repeat a demonstration etc. This helps to reinforce that we are very open to a two-way conversation in our household.

Every quarter, we also had a formal sit-down discussion to discuss any areas for improvement. The discussion would also be documented in the chat for her to review and work on. This worked wonders for us during the initial settling-in phase.

In essence, we treated the management of this relationship with our helper very much like how our companies would. Having regular informal check-ins paired with formal regularly scheduled performance reviews helped us all stay on the same page.

Harmony at Home Starts Here

See? Setting house rules for domestic helper in Singapore is not so tough after all right? Just remember, it’s a two-way street. By fostering open communication, mutual respect, and understanding, you’re creating a positive environment for both you and your helper.

Also, always keep in mind that your helper is a person with their own needs and aspirations. Treating them with kindness and fairness will not only benefit you but will also create a more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Find this article useful? Do help share this article with your fellow mummy and daddy friends and spread the love! It’s not easy putting all this information together and I do hope for more to benefit from it! For more baby & parenting content and helpful tips, check out our other articles here: