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Hey, mummies (& daddies)! I’m Elissa, a first-time IVF mum to a lovely 2-year-old toddler girl. This is why I know first-hand how pregnancy and postpartum can be both an amazing and emotionally tough experience. Sleepless nights, mood swings—many of us wonder, “Is this normal? Why do I feel like this? Could it be prenatal or postnatal depression?”
It’s confusing and overwhelming, especially with so much advice coming from all directions that can leave you more stressed. I get it. Take it from someone who has attended therapy during pregnancy and postpartum too.
I believe many mums feel this way but are too scared or embarrassed to ask for help. That’s why I’m sharing this Q&A—to give new mums (and even second or third-time mums) honest, straightforward answers.
In today’s Ask A Pro series post, we address prenatal and postnatal depression with Sophia Goh, from Sofia Wellness Clinic. Through this series, I’ll be sharing valuable insights from trusted pros to help us navigate everything from pregnancy prep and postpartum recovery to child development—and beyond
If you’re an expert in your field and want to help other Singapore-based parents, please reach out to us at [email protected]! And parents, make sure to follow us on Instagram so you can stay updated on more expert Q&A sessions and participate by sending us your burning questions!
About the Expert: Meet Sophia Goh of Sofia Wellness Clinic
As a mother of two, Sophia understands firsthand the emotional ups and downs that come with pregnancy, childbirth, and early motherhood. She knows how overwhelming prenatal and postnatal depression can feel, and offers a warm, compassionate approach grounded in positive psychology and attachment theory.
Sophia is a Registered Counsellor and Clinical Member of the Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC). With a Master’s in Counselling and Guidance and over 8 years of experience, she brings both professional expertise and personal empathy to her work with mothers and families.
As Principal Counsellor and Founder of Sofia Wellness Clinic, Sophia uses evidence-based therapies, such as mindfulness and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, to help mothers build resilience, reconnect with themselves, and find practical ways to thrive emotionally during this transformative stage.
About Sofia Wellness Clinic
At Sofia Wellness Clinic, Sophia leads a dedicated team of experienced counsellors providing personalized support for mothers experiencing peripartum depression. Their aim? To create a safe, compassionate space for women to navigate the emotional challenges of motherhood. These include anxiety during pregnancy, mood changes after birth, to struggles with identity and adjustment.
The clinic offers professional counselling and psychotherapy tailored to each mother’s unique needs. They help them process difficult emotions, improve emotional regulation, and develop healthier coping strategies. Combining mindfulness-based therapies and attachment-informed approaches, their goal is to help mothers not just recover—but truly thrive. Contact them to enquire more!
Q&A with Principal Counsellor & Psychotherapist, Sophia Goh
Let’s hear from Sophia Goh, as she answers some of the most common questions Singaporean mummies have about prenatal and postnatal depression!
Before we dive in, Sophia shares an important clarification:
What many of us know as postpartum or postnatal depression (depression after birth) and prenatal depression (depression during pregnancy) is now more accurately referred to as Peripartum Depression.
Why the change? New research suggests that up to 50% of depression cases actually start during pregnancy—not just after the baby is born.
Since the symptoms and risks are similar, they’re now grouped together as peripartum depression (depression during and after birth). It’s an important reminder that depression can start before baby arrives—and getting support early is just as valid and essential.
Now, let’s get into the Q&A!
Q: What are early signs of prenatal depression that I or my partner should look out for?
Sophia: The signs of prenatal and postpartum depression are similar to that of major depressive disorder. Some early signs include persistent sadness, feeling emotionally numb, overwhelming anxiety, irritability, guilt, low energy, and difficulty sleeping—even when tired.
However, when these symptoms are intense, last for extended periods, disrupt daily life, or include thoughts of self-harm, it is important to seek professional help.
Q: How can I differentiate between normal pregnancy mood swings and something more serious like prenatal depression?
Sophia: Pregnancy hormones can cause mood swings, with emotions fluctuating quickly. However, the key difference lies in the intensity, duration, and impact on your life.
Normal mood swings are often brief and linked to specific situations, without significantly disrupting your daily routine. In contrast, prenatal depression involves more intense feelings of sadness, anxiety, or loss of interest that persist for weeks and interfere with your ability to function.
Q: I’m already feeling anxious — are there preventive steps I can take to protect my mental health during pregnancy?
Sophia: Feeling anxious during pregnancy is very common. Many mums-to-be experience racing thoughts, “what if” worries, or feel overwhelmed by the unknowns. One helpful step is learning to reframe your anxious thoughts. For example, instead of “I’m not ready for this,” you could gently shift to “I may not have all the answers now, but I can take things one day at a time.” It’s not about forcing positivity but choosing thoughts that help you feel a little safer and more supported.
It is also important to externalise some of that anxiety by seeking support. It could be talking about your anxieties to a close friend, fellow mums-to-be (via support groups), or even experienced mums.
Lastly, anchoring yourself in familiar routines can help you feel more grounded. These include your morning rituals, quiet evening walks, or weekly catch-ups with a friend. These routines should remind you that you still exist as a person outside of pregnancy, and that life can gently expand to incorporate a baby—rather than be completely overtaken by it. Your identity matters too—and staying connected to it can be a powerful anchor during the emotional ups and downs of pregnancy.
Q: How can I talk to my OB-GYN or family about pregnancy related mental health concerns without feeling judged?
Sophia: It is important to know that peripartum depression is a real mental health condition that is treatable. Healthcare professionals, such as your OB-GYN, should take your mental health concerns seriously. Many OB-GYNs are also trained to spot mental health concerns and can offer guidance and referrals.
When it comes to family, choose someone you trust. Physical and emotional support are both very critical as this period can be very stressful, especially for new parents. If you are uncomfortable with relying on your family for emotional support, consider asking for help with physical support instead. This could include support with household tasks or errands.
Q: How do I know if what I’m feeling after birth is postnatal depression or just “baby blues”?
Sophia: Baby blues affect up to 75% of new mums and typically show up a few days after birth. You might feel tearful, moody, anxious, irritable, struggle to sleep or even guilt for not being traditionally happy! These symptoms usually peak around day 7 and fade within two weeks.
Because the symptoms are mild and short-lived, treatment usually isn’t needed. But if your emotional lows start feeling heavier, don’t go away, or begin to disrupt daily life, it could be an early sign of postnatal depression.
The most important thing: if you ever have thoughts of harming yourself or feel like your family would be better off without you, please seek help right away.
More often than not, new mums should trust their own judgment here. We often hear from mothers who tell us they simply knew they weren’t feeling right, and that intuition is incredibly important.
Q: How soon after birth does postnatal depression normally appear — and can it start months after delivery?
Sophia: People expect it to show up right after birth, but it can actually begin anytime in the first year. Recent research suggests that the peak onset of postnatal depression is around 2–3 months postpartum. This is when the adrenaline has worn off and sleep deprivation kicks in. So if your baby is already a few months old, what you are feeling could still be postpartum depression.
Q: Can husbands also suffer from postnatal depression?
Sophia: Yes, fathers can experience postpartum depression, often referred to as paternal postpartum depression or male postpartum depression. This condition affects approximately 1 in 10 fathers. It can manifest with symptoms similar to those seen in mothers, including sadness, anxiety, and changes in sleep and eating patterns.
Q: How can I seek help if I’m struggling emotionally but feel guilty or afraid to speak up?
Sophia: Many mums hesitate to reach out because they feel ashamed, afraid of being judged, or worry that asking for help means they’ve somehow “failed.” Struggling emotionally does not mean you love your baby any less, or that you’re not doing your best. It means you’re human, navigating one of life’s biggest transitions.
If you are feeling guilty, it may help to gently explore what that guilt is about. Is it the belief that you should be coping better? Or that asking for help is a sign of weakness? These thoughts are incredibly common but are often based on unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves.
Many mums go through baby blues after giving birth, so if you’re not feeling quite like yourself, it’s perfectly okay to speak with your doctor. They’re familiar with what you might be experiencing and can offer the support you need.
Q: How do I balance caring for my baby while taking care of my own mental health?
Sophia: Here are some suggestions to balance caring for your baby while taking care of your own mental health:
- Rest as much as you can. Take brief breaks whenever you can when baby is down for a nap.
- Take care of yourself too. That means eating regular meals, getting some fresh air, and moving your body—even a short walk outside can really help.
- Say yes when others offer support. You don’t have to do everything alone.
- It’s also okay to lower expectations at home for now. The house doesn’t have to be perfectly tidy—just focus on you and your baby.
- And if you can, carve out 1–2 hours just for yourself. A little time away from the baby can help you reconnect with who you are beyond being a mum.
Q: What advice would you give to a partner or loved one who wants to support a mum going through postnatal depression?
Sophia: The best way to support a mum going through peripartum depression is to really be there for her. This means listening without judgment. Letting her express what she is feeling without trying to fix it or offering quick solutions. It is important to validate her emotions and reassure her that what she is experiencing is real, not just ‘hormones’ or something she should ‘snap out of.’
Offer practical help around the house, with the baby, anything to take the load off her shoulders. Educate yourself about postnatal depression so you truly understand what she is going through. Most of all, keep reminding her that she’s a good mum and that things will get better.
Q: How does counselling or psychotherapy help mothers with pre or postnatal depression? What’s the typical process like?
Sophia: Counselling provides a safe, non-judgmental space for mothers to talk through the emotional and psychological changes that often come with pregnancy and motherhood. With the huge physical, hormonal, and lifestyle shifts—alongside new responsibilities like caring for a newborn or learning to breastfeed—it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or unlike yourself.
In therapy, you’ll be supported to make sense of your experiences, learn practical coping tools, and most importantly, feel seen and heard.
At Sofia Wellness Clinic, we begin with an initial intake session, where your counsellor will explore what you’ve been going through. This helps us understand the bigger picture and work out what kind of support will be most helpful for you.
From there, we may use evidence-based approaches like:
- CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)
- ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)
- DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy)
The frequency of sessions depend on your needs and will be determined after your first session. Some mums feel better after just 1–2 sessions, while others may benefit from longer-term support.
What Else to Expect from Counselling?
Depending on circumstances, couples or family therapy may be recommended. This is especially if challenges arise in your relationship, or if caregiving roles and expectations within the family are causing added stress.
It’s also important to note that, unlike conditions such as OCD (which tend to have more structured treatment plans), depression and anxiety can look very different from person to person. One mum might be struggling with guilt or self-pressure and benefit most from CBT, while another might be facing family conflict and need support through family therapy. This is why there’s no standard plan—we tailor everything based on your needs after the initial session.
And finally, many mums wonder about medication. Counselling is typically the first recommended treatment for peripartum depression. If we feel you may need medication, we will refer you to a psychiatrist, who is the only professional qualified to prescribe it.
You’re not alone—and help is available in many forms. It all begins with reaching out. 💛
Why I, As a Mum, Prioritize My Mental Health Too!
I’ve always been an anxious yet logical person. After a tough journey to conceive (you can read about my IVF story here), a nerve-wracking amniocentesis in my second trimester, a difficult third trimester with a gestational diabetes diagnosis, and postpartum irrational fears about my baby’s safety, at some point I realized I couldn’t do this alone. That’s why I chose to go through therapy and counselling throughout my pregnancy and postpartum.
What helped me the most?
- Having a neutral, non-judgmental ear to listen
- Someone who validated my feelings
- Most importantly, learning practical coping tools to manage my negative thoughts and anxieties
Worried about stigma? I’ve never thought about letting it hold me back. In fact, I’m proud to be open about seeking help for my mental health. Sharing my story is important because I want other mums to know they’re not alone. It takes courage to speak up, but reaching out for support can make all the difference—not just for ourselves, but for our little ones too. I hope my journey inspires more mums to find that strength and kindness for themselves.
Dear Mums, You’re Not Alone: Reach Out for Support!
I hope this Q&A with Sophia helped clear up common questions about maternal mental health! Like the difference between baby blues and postnatal depression, or what to do if you’re feeling low during or after pregnancy.
If you know someone who might need support, please help share this resource with them.
And if you’re struggling, please know—you don’t have to wait for things to get worse. Getting help early, whether through counselling or talking to someone you trust, can make a big difference for you and your baby.
For more honest motherhood stories, expert tips, and resources on parenting in Singapore, follow @mummy.list on Instagram. Let’s navigate this season together. 💛
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